CW: 157
GW: 140
UGW: toned 135 (bmi 17.8)
Goal Waist: 24 inches
I really want a waist of 23 inches like Candace but I know for my body that's unhealthy
Vegetarian.
I do not suggest or condone extreme EDs but I understand those who have them. Just don't promote and be PRO ana/mia. I will unfollow. However we all have our demons.
LOVE YOURSELF.
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About Me
So this is about my 5th weightloss specific tumblr. Don’t worry it’s here to stay. The first one, nobodywakesupthin, lasted for months. It all began when I quit the sport I had done for years and was afraid of gaining weight. Soon that fear turned into absolute terror and I got down to 2 lbs above being classified as underweight, my goal. Now it turns out that I’m an inch shorter than I thought so I was actually 7 lbs heavier than that 18.0 bmi. To get there I ate roughly 800 calories, worked about half of it off at the gym, always made tea, purposefully became cold so my body would have to burn calories to warm up and fasted often.
I should have been ecstatic to see 142 on the scale. Instead all I felt was fear, fear that I was underweight, fear that my period was 2 weeks late, fear that I had just had a dream where I woke up crying. I woke up crying because my dream self ate spaghetti. Thats it. My mental state was whack. So I deleted my tumblr, gained weight, made a tumblr, deleted it, made a new one and then deleted that too. I’ve now realized that this is something I need, and always will.
Before I had convinced myself that being 6’1 no man wanted me. I was a monster. The tall boys had their pick of absolutely any girl, while I only had the so very few tall guys and why would they choose me when they had endless options. For them to overcome the hindrance of my height I would have to be perfect, thin and gorgeous.
Now I’m back and wanting to stay healthy, not that I was ana by any means before. I just want the disgust to flee me, to eradicate the need to punish myself with laxatives, I just want to be free.
